her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
