Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
