i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize