put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize