i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
