I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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