i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
