You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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