In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
