Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
