I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
