Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He did a backflip because drugs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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