I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Randomize
