are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
