We won't sleep together?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
