I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize