your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
