just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
