Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
