I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
