So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize