So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
