Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize