I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
