i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
