I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
