Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
