my vag is so smooth its legendary
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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