are you so shy because you have an std?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
