Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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