Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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