Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
