if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He has the fingertips of a God
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