Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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