mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
