sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize