call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
