yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
