I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she smelled like a LAN party
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
