I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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