Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
