Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
