You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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