I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
