Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
