When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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