so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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