In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am one with the molecules
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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