So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
