Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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