This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
