Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His nipple licking is glorious
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