Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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