I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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