If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You need a sexual gate keeper
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
