The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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