I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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