Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
