I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
third nipple confirmed
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
