omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
