Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
