How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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