Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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