You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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