Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
