PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
