Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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