he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
