How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize