I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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