Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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